Aaron Sorkin, Full of Sorkin, Sorkins all over the Chicago 7
Aaron Sorkin is garbage. He’s always been garbage. Aaron Sorkin has one interest — mediocre white man power fantasies for wealthy liberals. Bothered about Bill Clinton using Matthew Shepherd’s murder to score political points after signing DOMA and DADT? Here’s President Bartlett telling a homophobic Christian that the Bible is full of nonsense. Are you angry with internet arguments from two years past? The Newsroom will provide the final word.
I would have avoided The Trial of the Chicago 7. I should have avoided The Trial of the Chicago 7. I had to see Sacha Baron Cohen play my childhood hero.
I cannot overstate how much I adored Abbie Hoffman when I was a teenager. The man made civil disobedience fun. He exorcised the Pentagon. He threw paper money at the New York Stock Exchange. He didn’t sell out. He didn’t turn to Jesus or capitalism. He spent his last years fighting against polluters and idiot drug laws.
Forrest Gump portrayed him as an idiot who couldn’t stop saying the f-word.
That’s a tiny desecration compared to Sorkin. From the first scene, Sorkin does not approve of Abbie Hoffman. Sorkin writes Tom Hayden as the sober and serious radical in reaction to Hoffman’s wackiness. This isn’t an Abbie Hoffman movie. This isn’t a movie about how pranksters used a bogus case to mock a judiciary hell bent on punishing them. No, this is a Sorkin movie and as a Sorkin movie it has to be SERIOUS because how are the critics going to call it IMPORTANT otherwise? He may use Abbie Hoffman talking to college students as comedic exposition, but he’s not going to give Abbie Hoffman the spotlight.
Can you imagine a world where Sacha Baron Cohen gets to play Abbie Hoffman in a film that doesn’t hate the man? Abbie Hoffman was hilarious and the trial was his most brilliant performance. Abbie Hoffman offered to hook the judge up with an acid dealer during sentencing. He wore more costumes than the jury robes. He blew kisses to the jury. He called the judge Julie and yelled “Shande fur de Goyim” straight at him.
Sorkin can’t allow for stunts. Sorkin proudly wrote him boring. Promotional videos celebrate a scene where Abbie Hoffman gets SERIOUS on the witness stand. Sorkin praises Cohen handing his SERIOUS dialogue in a SERIOUS way and claims that the underpaid extras[1] were fascinated. Sorkin wrote that dumb line where Abbie Hoffman gives a dramatic pause and then responds “Give me a moment. I’ve never been on trial for my thoughts before.” He also wrote the “my government has contempt for me” line.
That’s not even remotely true to the history. Read the testimony yourself. Abbie Hoffman had a great time on that witness stand. He read the Yippie manifesto. He answered questions about peeing on the Pentagon. He declared himself a resident of Woodstock Nation. Of course, Abbie Hoffman talking with Abbie Hoffman’s actual words would be funny and there is no levity allowed in Aaron Sorkin productions.
After dispensing with Hoffman, Sorkin brings it back to the heroic centrist goy Tom Hayden. In real life, every defendant spoke at the sentencing and they used it to highlight the judicial racism. Every single speech would have been better than Sorkin’s choice.
In the Sorkin universe, only Tom Hayden is allowed to speak. He uses the opportunity to read out the names of Vietnam casualties. Judge Hoffman yells at him to stop. He keeps reading. His fellow defendants stand up. The judge bangs a gavel. The audience stands up. Then the prosecuting attorney stands up because of “the fallen” Judge Hoffman is in the middle of a panic attack. I’m yelling “fuck you Sorkin” at the television. We’re both drowned out by thunderous applause.
The title cards tell the audience that Abbie Hoffman killed himself.
Sorkin’s mediocre white guy hero wins again. Forget the actual history. Forget what these people said and did. The truth would distract from the swelling music and the tedious sermons. As long as Sorkin can Sorkin all over history, the stench of Sorkin remains.
[1] Before Covid-19, I worked as a background actor/extra. New York had recently raised the minimum wage to $15/hour and most productions in the tri-state area paid $15/hour. Aaron Sorkin filmed his movie in New Jersey where the minimum wage was $13/hour. Even though other NJ based productions paid the $15/hour, Sorkin’s Production Company took advantage of the lower wage. They did nothing illegal. They merely filmed in a location where they didn’t have to pay the extras the wages they expected.